Based on our recent grand adventure through the Canadian Rockies here’s a compilation of short untold travel tales composed by Dear Husband and I. Those random and what the hell were we thinking moments as well as a touching tribute from Dear Husband.
“A moment you will never get back but will always look back on”
Channelling my Inner Snow White (and learning to be more present)
Like any modern millennial, I whittle away the time by whipping out my cell phone and scroll through Instagram.
Perched in the Canadian wilderness on the edge of a riverbank at dawn, quietly waiting for the sun rays to kiss the tip of the mountain so I could capture my perfect shot was no different. Engrossed in Instagram it took me a few minutes to register a rustling near by. Startled back to reality, remembering I was sitting alone, at dawn in bear country I looked up and a mere stone’s throw away was a gloriously grand Elk!
Now, this was not the last time an animal snuck up on me. After a scrumptious dinner at the Fairmont and basking in the serenity of sunset, husband left the table to pay the bill and once again I reached for my cell phone. It was only due to the squeals of neighbouring patrons that I looked up to realise, whilst I was double tapping away, only the salt and pepper shaker separated me and a cheeky squirrel on the hunt for scraps.
On yet another occasion, sitting 2800m above sea level, balancing on a makeshift rocky chair at the top of a mountain, there I was captivated by the vista before me and a Chipmunk strolls over and casually nibbles on my shoe.
Grizzle Bear Survival
Placing ourselves in the heart of bear country for over a week, we hiked through forests, up glaciers and around lakes with the constant looming threat of a bear encounter. Almost all hikers we crossed paths with had bells jingling from their backpacks or bear spray strapped to them. We had nothing!
On a gloriously still morning, we hiked deep into the woods to admire yet another beautiful lake, as clear as glass and as reflective as a mirror. Quietly drinking in the peaceful surroundings the silence was shattered by an ominous breaking of twigs behind us. Shit bears! Now trying to summon the bear survival tactic I read prior to the trip. Not remembering was it look them in the eye or avoid eye contact /run away, saunter backwards or simply play dead /scream or don’t scream! This is why city girls should not go wandering off into the wilderness!
Panic stricken, trying to detect the danger I broke into song, serenading the woods with Nursey Rymes. The only detail, I could recall was never surprise a bear! Whistle, sing and chat whilst walking so they know you are around.
In that moment whilst attempting to recall the survival tactics and my life flashing before my eyes, there was also a nagging thought “why didn’t we just take the plunge and buy bear spray?” We no longer bat an eyelid at spending $80 for a meal but $40 for bear spray is extortion #PrioratiesPeople. Clearly, our priority is fine food, not simple survival. Even though becoming a grizzly bear’s next meal was an actual possibility.
With years now shaved off my life from the sheer panic and adrenaline, we discovered it was a damn squirrel doing some major pruning of a pine tree.
Pretty Woman Moment
Acting all fancy, sipping my cocktail with my pinky in the air as I elegantly sit in the poshest restaurant I can recall ever eating in. The kind of establishment where the waiter lays a highly starched white napkin in your lap, they de-crumb your table after entrée and the wine list is thicker than an old phone book.
Well, when my gnocchi arrives with a giant unidentified green thing squatting atop which I think was parading as a vegetable. I discreetly tried to slide it off my pasta onto the side plate. And in that moment had a flash back of Pretty Woman flicking her snail across the room. As my unidentified green blob bounced, slid down the designer wallpaper and plopped out of sight beside the table! There was no way I could gracefully duck down to retrieve it so there it remains as a symbol of how we all struggle to “adult” sometimes.
Hubby’s 2 Cents
Written by Dear Husband, Ryan Pictor
Whilst my better half waxes lyrical about the azure lakes and the majestic mountains. I would like to give a quick recognition to the 3rd member of our little journey. Without whom, this holiday would not have even been possible! I am of course referring to Sebastian. Sebastian was a true source of comfort for us. He would entertain us for hours on end with his varied musical talents. He would support us as we wound through the ribbons over and between the Rockies. He would wait patiently for us as we left him to go on various excursions and adventures. All he asked in return was that we feed him from time to time. I will say, however, that he was not a fan of the city, and after a turbulent experience in the streets of Vancouver, we eventually parted ways after leaving him in the tender care of his true owners.
Sebastian was a stalwart and loyal member of the team. We shall remember him fondly.